It’s a real pisser trying to write sometimes (by sometimes I mean all the time). Especially when thoughts and the urge to write hit at the most inconvenient times. So that flow is there but nothing can be done about it because you’re in the middle of a ten hour work shift or slowly wasting away thanks to the flu. Most likely binging Jessica Jones though…lets be honest. So many ideas yet my flow is rough, especially when I really just want to watch IAMX music videos thanks to the fact I have his music on.
The thing is, I’ve met a wonderful girl. She’s drop dead gorgeous. Brilliant (seriously, high ass IQ). Walks into a room with her strong personality, which isn’t in your face but you just know she’s there. Has a kickass style. Hilarious sense of humor. She never fails to make you feel loved and cared for. Yet she could easily destroy you if she wanted to. This girl…no this woman, is my boyfriends best friend.
Half of you are gasping over the possible lesbianism and the other half are probably gasping over how my boyfriends closest friend is an absolutely knock out of a woman. Then again some (or all) of you might be gasping for air because your yawning so much trying to get through my writing.
Anyway, the lesbianism topic can be addressed another time. My focus is more on the “threat” that this woman is to my relationship. I don’t put threat in quotes because I think this is a competition and “I’m going to win”. It has to do with the fact that society ingrains in us this idea that our partners cannot be friends with those of the opposite sex, especially not close friends. It comes out as this primal instinct in us to feel threatened. Maybe it’s a good thing. We often go through a lot of messy roadkill to get to our perfect piece of taxidermy. Ok I might have Bates Motel on the mind and a passion for poor metaphors. Still, you get the picture I’m painting. It’s a defense mechanism, right?
I would I agree that it is. It doesn’t mean it’s the right defense mechanism. It creates hostility between two people of the same gender (both male and female). Why the hell do we need anymore of that? Here’s how I see it, if someone doesn’t have enough confidence in a partner being around their opposite sex friend (doesn’t flow off the tongue smoothly, does it?), they should speak up about their feelings or get the fuck out! Two reasons I say this Uno: Individual might need to grow as a person till they are comfortable with who they are (not saying they have to feel like they are a Victoria Secret or GQ model, though that’s cool too) Dos: Partner might actually not be trustworthy. Thats why honesty with yourself and who you are with is so important. Also one of the reasons it’s crucial to always work on loving yourself and being confident. Though we should do that for our own personal goals of world domination. It also helps us get a better grasp on things. Rather than letting society tell us, “hey listen.” Get that fly swatter and beat Navi’s ass.
Hell, I’m an insanely jealous person. The world is a threat, not just in relationships. I can envy the way people walk sometimes to the knowledge they have on a card game. So I make a conscious effort to appreciate everyone. Everything. Dude, could you imagine if we were all the same? You ever see that episode of Fairly Odd Parents? Where everyone becomes grey blobs because Timmy wishes for that? I’ll nope right off the planet if that ever happened. Appreciate beauty, intelligence, humor, character in everyone. Don’t let it become a personal threat. Embrace it.
Plus if I were to let a dumb defense mechanism/primal instinct/jealousy society instills in us get in the way of my boyfriends friendship with his best friend, not only would that be pretty damn shitty of me. It would deprive me of having a rad as hell friend who I get doe eyed over because she makes me strive for my best with just what I see and admire in her.
Repeat after me: Partners friends of the opposite sex are not threats, they also aren’t food because remember cannibalism is frowned upon in most societies. What they actually are, is another human connection. Someone who your partner is close to for a reason. Damnit, DON’T DEPRIVE YOURSELF OF THE AWESOME. If they turn out not to be your kind of awesome, go get some wings or vegan alternative and watch some Netflix man. You can never go wrong there.